Conflict is a part of a healthy relationship. A family is made up of a set of individuals. Individuals with different personalities, ideas, nurture, and ways of doing things. These sets of characteristics make each person unique and set each person apart. Conflicts and problems arise because we are all unique and want different things.
It is normal for family members to disagree from time to time. It is part of family life not only because life will be boring without occasional conflict but because there wouldn’t be development and growth within the family. However, unending conflict can be nerve-wracking and damaging to family rapport.
Some of your family problems and conflicts might be a little too hard to manage. Sometimes, power disparities and resilient emotions that can be present in the family can prove tough to resolve. And most times, these family conflicts and problems won’t get resolved on their own. You have to stand up, address the problem, and resolve the conflict. Here, I have a few tips to help you resolve your family problem and conflicts
- Be calm:
Your attitude towards conflict will go a long way. You have to remain calm and have a positive attitude. A calm spirit is a way to cool off the tension and heat that always accompany family conflict. You’ll be able to see clearly and think objectively with a calm spirit and a clear mind.
- Don’t speak in anger:
Anger is rarely a reasonable force. Whenever you are angry, do not speak or act. Do not argue when you are angry (the same thing goes for promise). Take a little time to cool off. The time off will give you time to rethink what you will say. This ensures you are constructive with your words. This will help reduce the tension, and you can now continue the conversion safely.
- Be hard on the problem, not the people:
You can only solve a problem if you critically take a look at it. You should focus on the cause and how to resolve the conflict in the family. Do not make the mistake of blaming the person when you could just proffer a solution. There is no need to attack your family member. Attack the problem instead.
- Don’t take it personally:
Acknowledge this: it is a conflict in your family. It is not peculiar to you! Though you might have to take the reins of the situation so that you might find the solution, you should make the solution just about yourself. It would help if you were more willing to tackle the problem objectively than making things personal.
- Don’t do it alone:
You are not the only member of your family. I am sure of that! You do not have to solve the conflict all by yourself. Get help. Ask your family members to help you get to the bottom of the problem. Every help you can get will go a long way towards solving the problem. Sit and brainstorm resolutions together.
- The goal is to resolve the conflict:
You should not pick a fight, let alone try to in a fight! This is your family, for God’s sake. Your goal when there is a conflict should be how to resolve the conflict and not how to win the fight or argument. With this in mind, you will solve the problem in no time.
The importance of each individual in a family cannot be overemphasized. You must know this and treat each person as important by actively and carefully listening to them. You can only get the full information when you actively listen to all parties involved in the conflict. You will better handle that situation when you have heard all sides of the story. The resolution would also be fair to all parties involved.
- Ask questions but don’t interrupt:
Asking questions is one of the ways to know if someone is paying attention. Listen and strive not to interrupt the speaker while he or she is speaking. Allow everyone to render their thoughts and feelings before you ask questions completely. If the question can wait, let it wait until the end of the discussion. Many times, your questions would be answered before the speaker finishes his statement. This shows you respect them. People who think you respect them are more likely to heed your words. And you, my friend, are one step closer to resolving that conflict.
- Solve one issue at a time:
Family problems and conflicts are never an isolated occurrence. They come hand in hand with other things. While it is often possible to kill two birds with one stone, I will advise you to tackle one problem at a time. Mind you; I am not telling you to solve the conflict in isolation. I am saying that you should not drag other feelings, existing problems, or unrelated people into the conflict you are currently trying to solve. This will help you to stay focused on the subject at hand. You’ll see that it is easier to solve two issues one after the other than to face both simultaneously.
- Get professional help:
Sometimes you might be unable to resolve your family problem by yourself. You might need to look beyond your family and get help from an external individual or body. Some counsellors, consultants, and other professionals can help you resolve the conflict you might be having in your family. Reach out to them to help you resolve your family problems and conflicts. Remember this: your goal is to resolve your family problem and conflicts.
I know one or more of these tips will help you get your family back together. When a solution is found, kindly confirm all parties involved are clear on the solution. Ensure everyone is satisfied when finding the middle ground. There is no harm in trying different solutions. If the solution works, stick with it, if it isn’t working, record and find another solution. I hope to see your family restored to a peaceful and loving one.
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