You sometimes happen to meet a person with a complicated character with whom you must interact regularly. Since this person can be a family member, a neighbour, or a co-worker, it becomes difficult to walk away from them!


Toxic people have irrational characters. They are negative and see themselves as victims. Sometimes, some like to provoke and sow chaos in their living environment. Most of the time, some people do not even realise their harmful influence on those around them. These people should be avoided since they only generate conflicts and represent a major source of stress. If you cannot avoid them, keeping them away is often the best strategy to adopt to avoid the harmful effects of the stress they cause.


The goal of toxic people is usually to get attention and have followers for their negative talk. People surrounding a toxic person often have the reflex to listen simply out of politeness or empathy. Getting caught up in their whirlwind of negativity and twisted emotions is easy. This is a behaviour not to do since it will only encourage this person in his negative speech and behaviour.





  1. Stop pretending their toxic behaviour is ‘OK.’

If you’re not careful, toxic people can use their moody behaviour to get preferential treatment. Don’t be fooled. Short-term ease equals long-term pain for you in a situation like this.


Toxic people don’t change if they are rewarded for not changing. Decide not to be influenced by their behaviour. Stop tiptoeing around them or making special pardons for their continued belligerence. Constant drama and negativity are never worth enduring. If someone over the age of 21 can’t be a reasonable, dependable adult on a day-to-day basis, it’s time to ‘TALK.’



  1. TALK

Some people will do anything for their gain at the expense of others – taking money and property, bullying and belittling, bringing guilt, etc. Do not accept this behaviour. Most of these people know they are doing the wrong thing and will back down surprisingly quickly when confronted with their actions.


In most social settings, people tend to be quiet until someone speaks, so SPEAK. Some toxic people may use anger to influence you, or they may not respond to you when you try to communicate or interrupt you and suddenly start talking negatively about something you care about.

If you ever dare to speak up and respond negatively to their moody behaviour, they may be surprised, even outraged, that you’ve stepped into their behavioural territory. But you still have to talk.

Not mentioning someone’s toxic behaviour can become the main reason for getting sucked into their mind games. Challenging this type of behaviour from the start, on the other hand, will sometimes make them realise the negative impact of their behaviour. For example, you might say, “I noticed you seem angry. Is something bothering you?” “I think you look annoyed. Do you think what I say is irrelevant? “Your attitude is bothering me right now. Is that what you want?” Direct statements like these can be disarming if someone uses their bad-tempered attitude as a means of social manipulation.

These statements can also open up an opportunity for you to try to help them if they are genuinely confronted with a serious problem. Even if they say, “What do you mean?” and deny it, at least you made them aware that their attitude has become a known problem for someone else rather than just a personal tool that they can use to manipulate others whenever they want. And if they persist in denial, it might be time to “assert yourself and defend your space.”



Your dignity can be attacked, ravaged, and shamefully ridiculed, but it can never be taken away unless you willingly surrender it. It’s about finding the strength to defend your borders.


Demonstrate that you will not be insulted or belittled. The most effective is ending conversations with sickening gentleness or brutality. The message is clear: he will derive no pleasure from it, and no game will be played on your side.


Truly toxic people will pollute everyone around them, including you, if you allow them. If you’ve tried to reason with them and they won’t move, feel free to leave their space and ignore them until they do.



It’s them, not you. Know this. Toxic people will probably try to imply that you did something wrong. And because the “feeling guilty” button is big enough for many of us, even the implication that we might have done something wrong can hurt our confidence and disrupt our resolve. Don’t let this happen to you.


Remember, enormous freedom comes to you when you don’t take anything personally. Most toxic people behave negatively not only towards you but towards everyone they interact with. Even when the situation feels personal – even if you feel directly insulted – it usually has nothing to do with you. What they say and do and the opinions they hold are entirely based on their thinking.



If you are forced to live or work with a toxic person, make sure you have enough time to relax, rest, and recover. Having to play the role of a “focused, rational adult” in the face of a toxic mood can be exhausting, and if you’re not careful, the toxicity can infect you. Again, understand that even people with legitimate issues and clinical illnesses can still understand that you also have needs, which means you can politely apologise when you need to.

You deserve this time. You deserve to think peacefully, without external pressure or toxic behaviour. No problems to solve, boundaries to respect, or personalities to satisfy. Sometimes you need to take time for yourself, away from the busy world you live in that leaves you no time.



It’s never easy to have to endure harmful behaviours on a daily or weekly basis. It is, therefore, essential to know how to keep such a person away so as not to be bullied by harmful behaviours that can be very harmful to one’s own mental health.


To speak with any of our counsellors at Light House Counselling, call or whatsapp +2348060286476.

We provide 5 different types of Counseling ranging from Marriage and Family Counselling, Educational Counselling, Rehabilitation Counselling, Mental Health Counselling, and Substance Abuse Counselling.

We have professionals and we provide affordable services.



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