How To Be An Independent Woman

Oh wow! You were able to fix your car tyre or lightbulb without any help? You’re doing really well as a career woman- good job, beautiful car, you really got it all, huh? Totally amazing, I must confess. I bet you may have at some point seen yourself as an independent woman based on these, and trust me; you aren’t far from being one.

True, everyone’s sense of judgement is different, but wouldn’t it be unfair if we talked about being independent based on just physical assets and achievements? Real independence means being able to take care of yourself, both emotionally and physically. It isn’t just about what you have, but rather how you feel about yourself and those around you.

The first step to being independent is to feel fantastic about yourself and to start taking control of your life. Don’t expect to become independent overnight fully, but daily, small steps can be taken towards becoming that independent woman you’ve always desired to be. Remember, being independent doesn’t mean you can’t lean on others when necessary. It just means that it’s your choice. I totally trust these steps to help you achieve your dreams.


  1. Spend Some Time Reflecting Upon Yourself.

You can’t truly be independent until you know who your independent self is. It would be best if you were brutally honest with yourself. Be honest about your shortcomings. None of us is perfect. We aren’t meant to be in the first place.

Spending time reflecting upon yourself gives you the foundation for other important steps to becoming independent, such as understanding your wants and needs, knowing your strengths and weaknesses and learning to be assertive.


  1. Learn To Enjoy Alone Time

It’s easy for an extrovert to fall into the trap of ‘needing’ other people. The need to be around others and be co-dependent, no doubt could be overwhelming sometimes. But taking steps towards independence entails being comfortable and learning to enjoy alone time. It allows you to acknowledge that you are enough. That you, on your own, are enough.

This doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy your time with others – most extroverts still thrive on group interaction and get their energy from being around others. It simply means that you need to learn to be okay with being on your own sometimes too.


  1. Understand Your Finances.

This is a HUGE factor in being independent. Whether you love it or hate it, money is what makes the world go round. It would be best if you had it. I need it, some have it, some don’t, and we all try our best to earn more of it. Hence, the importance of understanding your finances cannot be overstressed. You must know where your money is coming from, where it is going and what it is doing for you to be independent.

This isn’t a ‘don’t rely on your husband for money thing’. It’s not a feminist movement. It’s a smart move. It allows you to be confident with your actions. If you have the money, buy what you want but know how much it is and where the money is coming from.


  1. Understand Your Wants, Needs And Desires.

What is it that you truly want? What makes you happy? What do you need to get by each day? You sure have needs which are different from your wants and desires. Understanding your wants, needs, and desires is a powerful thing. It allows you to form the foundation for becoming more assertive. Own your needs! Your desires are your happy place. It’s what you fill your vision board with. It’s your dream, what makes you tingle with excitement and makes your heart skip a beat.

If you know your wants, needs and desires, you know then that you can be assertive in asking for them and confident in making them happen. What you want in life, your relationships, yourself, and your career forms the basis of your goals. These are the things that you work towards and chase after.


  1. Know Your Strengths And Weaknesses And Play To Them.

Do you function better when you have a schedule? Are you unable to function until you have your coffee? Are you a night crawler who would rather rest during the day and work all night? Knowing your strengths and weaknesses is part of the self-reflection step and can make all the difference in your life. Understanding yourself, your strengths and weaknesses and playing to them is necessary to become an independent woman. Discard the thoughts of “I can do it all”, and seek help whenever you can. Remember to go for ONLY what works for you!


  1. Make your own choices

You are the only one who can truly change your life. Acknowledge that you are responsible for your own choices. Once you realize that you are in control, you will feel more confident. This will lead to increased independence. Making important decisions is a key component of being an independent woman. To feel confident doing this, consider carefully when making big choices – does the decision compromise your values, character, or integrity? You may have to make an unpopular decision, but do what you feel is right and in line with these things. Make a list of the risks and rewards involved. When examining the list of all potential rewards against the risks, decide if the odds are in your favor or against you.

Understand what you can and can’t control, as they could make you feel anxious and overwhelmed. Don’t be afraid to ask for advice. You’re still the one making the decision, even if you listen to input from someone you trust.



Being an independent woman will help change your life, giving you a 100% turnaround. By depending on yourself to achieve your dreams, you’ll build your character and discover new stuff within you. Giving yourself a chance to become an independent woman and believing in your abilities will help you find happiness defined on your terms.

To speak with any of our counsellors at Light House Counselling, call or whatsapp +2348060286476. We Charge N10,000 Per Month for Counselling

We provide 5 different types of Counseling ranging from Marriage and Family Counselling, Educational Counselling, Rehabilitation Counselling, Mental Health Counselling, and Substance Abuse Counselling.

We have professionals and we provide affordable services.



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