HOW TO LEAVE AND NOT BE OVERWHELMED AS A WOMAN

 

I believe you are here because of the title of this article. If yes, I want you to know that you are not alone. I am here to help with the little I can. You are likely to be in a relationship with a partner who is toxic, manipulative and harmful to you physically, emotionally and mentally.

Hence, you are looking for means to escape this situation and avoid being overwhelmed in the process? Good, I’ve got you covered. There are different steps you can follow to leave that relationship for good.

First things first, what is a toxic relationship? According to ResearchGate, a toxic relationship can be defined as a relationship characterized by behaviours of the toxic partner that are emotionally and frequently physically damaging to the other. In order words, a toxic relationship is a type of relationship that causes the victim pain, physically and mentally. Unhealthy relationships are dangerous to one’s health. They can lead to self-hate and self-esteem related issues, such as looking down on oneself or comparing yourself to a certain person or group of people.

There are signs of a toxic relationship like fear, manipulation, lack of communication and the rest. Back to the main deal – how to leave a relationship and not be overwhelmed as a woman. Here are some ways you can leave that unhealthy relationship without being overwhelmed.

 

1: BE INDEPENDENT

There are different reasons we get into a relationship. It could be for financial reasons, love, companionship and affection. We get into a relationship for the main aim of fulfilling our individual needs. Most women are stuck in destructive relationships because of financial issues. The man is the sole provider in the relationship and treats the woman as garbage because he knows she solely depends on him. If you stay in a harsh environment because you have the mindset that you have nowhere to go or start, you will not find fulfilment in such a union. Start now and find a legal way to make ends meet.

2: AVOID ASKING THE ‘WHY’ QUESTION

I know this is hard, but trust me, you will only get hurt if you do it. Do not think about the whole situation and wish to know why things happened the way they did. Avoid asking questions like; “Why did he cheat?”, “Why did he treat me the way he did?” I know it is tempting, and humans are naturally curious, but you would regret a lot of things and blame yourself for everything that happened.

3: BE STRATEGIC ABOUT LEAVING

If your partner is an abusive type, do not break up immediately. I get it. What am I saying? I am trying to say that if you do not feel safe around him, or you know he is capable of inflicting bodily harm, do not let him know you are thinking of ending things with him. Friends and family could insult and try to get you to break up with him immediately, but do not adhere to their advice. Your safety comes first. Only end things with him when you feel safe. Leaving the state you both live in is a good factor or mode of ensuring your safety. If he is a very violent one, consider filing a restraining order against him. Avoid pressure from people. It would be best if you had a mind of your own. Call the authorities, if need be, in cases like beating, threats and the likes.

4: ACCEPT YOUR FAULTS

I do not necessarily mean that you cheated or you are abusive. Acceptance, in this case, means that you let this person into your life, and you thought the relationship would last for a very long time, but that is not the case right now. It would help if you accepted the fact that you still feel something for him regardless of what he did or is doing to you. Now, the relationship is close to ending, and you will be sad because, as I said earlier, you are attracted to this person, or you were once attracted. It is going to hurt, but you will be fine. For example, you probably did not set boundaries at the earlier relationship stages. This would make you avoid making that same mistake in your next relationship if you choose to be in another one someday.

5: LEAVE FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR CHILD/CHILDREN

You have kids with him, and you are bothered by how society would see you as a single mother with no man beside her. You are afraid to leave because of societal opinion or what your family would say. You are worried that your kids would be without a complete family. You need to understand that you cannot fix a toxic relationship to keep your family together. It does not work that way. Instead, think about this – what environment are you raising your kids in?

An environment filled with tension and bitterness? Is that the type of atmosphere you would like them to live in every time? You have to know that the environment a child is raised in says a lot about them. Fight for your kids. Leave that dangerous relationship as it is also affecting them mentally and even physically.

You should not wait until your child is being physically or verbally abused. The tension in the house would trick the kids into thinking that abuse is a way of love or how to show someone you love them. Love is not pain. Love does not hurt. Love is not selfish. Leave that abusive relationship and save your children.

 

Conclusion

I hope you have learnt a couple of things. Follow these tips whenever you need some reasons to leave a relationship as a woman. Always remember that you are a queen and should be treated as one. You are not alone in this journey, and I am glad to be a part of it. I hope you find what you are seeking for. Remember, your safety comes first.

 

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