THINGS TOXIC PARTNERS SAY

It’s simple to speak without thinking about our closest connections. It appears to be a wonderful thing: we’re so comfortable with each other that we can talk about anything. However, it can occasionally have a negative impact. Off-the-cuff remarks might be misinterpreted, and words spoken in frustration can be quite hurtful.

Toxic partners say things to make you feel horrible about yourself, set you up for failure,  and to control and manipulate your emotions. The way toxic partners speak to you can be identified if you are alert enough to look out for these hurtful words. Here’s a list of things a toxic partner could say :

  • You’re doing it incorrectly.
  • How difficult is it to do it my way?
  • Do not trust your closest friends
  • I do have time for your unnecessary complaints and blabbing
  • I know best what is good for you
  • I do not need your opinion
  • You are being overly dramatic
  • If you are not happy with us being together, you might as well leave
  • You are so dumb and stupid
  • You disgust me
  • Do you listen to yourself speak?
  • I AM DONE

Even if you don’t mean it, making declarations like “I’m done” or “I want a divorce” — or even “I hate you” — can cause a lot of damage. It’s natural for people to get angry at each other. But, in the heat of the moment, striking out and uttering outrageous things is harmful.

  • YOU ARE TOO SENSITIVE

When you dismiss your partner’s feelings by saying they’re “too sensitive” or “too emotional,” you’re belittling their pain. It is not fair for us to choose how someone should feel. Telling someone that their emotion is extravagant does not communicate the right message.

  • YOU’LL GET OVER IT OR IT’S NOT A BIG ISSUE

These words might be demoralizing to someone who is going through a difficult time emotionally. And asking them to “get over it” in whatever situation they find themselves in would just make them feel foolish for bringing it up in the first place.

  • YOU NEVER TRUST ME

It’s only normal to be unable to trust someone once they have repeatedly betrayed your confidence. It’s also unreasonable to expect you to trust them again right afterwards. It takes time to rebuild trust. However, blaming you for having trust issues (which they caused) makes it about you and your problems and anxieties rather than the reality that they couldn’t be a decent partner. Suddenly, the argument is about your lack of trust, insecurities, and worries, rather than what they’ve done, this is extremely toxic.

  • BUT YOU ALWAYS DO THIS

In most cases, this is a blame game. They are too consumed with gaining points, even if it means creating problems to prove a point. This is a red flag to watch out for since, first and foremost, no one is perfect, and if one partner refuses to accept that and continues to point accusing fingers at the other, then some planning or, better still, a breakaway is required.

  • I CAN NOT SEEM TO PLEASE YOU

Playing the victim makes you feel terrible for them, and you suddenly lose interest in fighting. You’ll realize how irrational you were and apologize for trying to cause a fight. They usually play the compassion card when the toxic partner is cornered and knows they have done something wrong.

  • YOU ARE SIMPLE BEING DRAMATIC

People who accuse their partners of overreacting or being dramatic are frequently unaware that they are doing things to provoke a strong, negative reaction. If you become even more upset when your partner says you’re overreacting for having a reasonable response to a difficult situation, it can be very damaging to your relationship and your self-esteem.

  • NO ONE ELSE CAN SETTLE FOR YOU

Toxic abusers employ this phrase to exert control over their victims. They destroy your self-esteem in order for you to remain complicit in abusive behavior.” If your partner says this to you, they most likely have low self-esteem and a feeling of abandonment. But, whatever the cause, it’s not acceptable for them to treat you this way.

  • YOU LEFT ME WITH NO CHOICE

If your partner ever tells you this, your initial thought should be that it’s just not true. Trying to shift responsibility and place guilt on you for their own behaviors is not acceptable and is a symptom of toxic behavior. While it’s likely that your actions have some influence on your partner, the choices you make do not take away their power to make decisions.

  • NOT SAYING ANYTHING AT ALL

Silence can be just as harmful as speaking the wrong thing at times. When their spouse is trying to have a mature dialogue, they have a propensity to disengage. They may shut down and leave the room, refusing to discuss the problem. This action might make the other partner feel abandoned and rejected at a time when they most need the emotional connection.

CONCLUSION

If your partner says one of these harmful things to you, it doesn’t mean the relationship as a whole is worth ending. What matters is how individuals behave when confronted with this information, and whether or not they change. Toxicity can sometimes border on abuse, and no matter how much you love your partner, you should never feel obligated to put up with it.

If you need help leaving the relationship, reach out to trusted friends and family members, as well as a mental health professional. Toxic partners have a habit of saying the most painful and unfathomable things on purpose. They seek to lower your self-esteem and make you feel uneasy, so recognizing toxic companions before it’s too late is the best way to protect yourself. Toxic partners use these phrases to shut you down and make you feel like you can’t win. Set limits and move away.

 

To speak with any of our counsellors at Light House Counselling, call or whatsapp +2348060286476.

We provide 5 different types of Counseling ranging from Marriage and Family Counselling, Educational Counselling, Rehabilitation Counselling, Mental Health Counselling, and Substance Abuse Counselling.

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