How To Speak Up When Bullied
Being bullied is not an easy thing to cope with. Bullying can leave you feeling helpless, vulnerable, and confused. Consequently, when bullied, you are often so shocked that you are unsure of what to do. But this indecision and lack of response can open the door to more bullying. Make sure you are prepared should the situation ever occur.
Make sure you know what to do if a bully challenge you. To prevent them from harassing you, you need practical strategies on how to speak up when bullied in addition to growing your assertiveness abilities, building your self-esteem, and enhancing your social skills. Here are suggestions to consider that could help you speak up when bullied.
Ignore the bully if he or she says or does something to you. If at all possible, try to disregard the bully’s threats. Pretend you are not listening and swiftly flee to a safe location. Bullies expect a major response to their mocking and bullying. Acting as if you don’t notice or care is the same as giving no response, which may be enough to deter a bully.
At some point, you might not be able to flee; all you need to do is to make a stand for yourself. Pretend to be brave and self-assured. Say loudly, “No! Stop it!” to the bully. Then walk away or run if necessary. Say “no!” and walk away if a bully forces you to do anything you don’t want to do. If you do what a bully says, the bully will likely continue to bully you. Bullies target people who do not speak out for themselves.
Don’t retaliate by bullying. Don’t hit, kick, or shove back when someone bullies you or your pals. Fighting back only makes a bully happy, and it’s also dangerous since someone can get wounded. You’ll almost certainly get into problems. Staying with others, staying safe, and seeking adult assistance are best.
Other specialised ways to speak up when bullied
- Take Control of Your Life
Boost your confidence. When we are bullied, we often wonder what we have done wrong. Instead, tell yourself, “They’re not doing this because of anything I’ve done; they’ve chosen to be unkind,” as bullying expert Carrie Goldman suggests. How do you deal with negativity? “Make a statement like, ‘I am deserving of respect.’ I’ll reach out to those who care about me and get through.’ It’s critical to remind ourselves that we are entitled to better.”
- Say it as soon as possible
Bullying causes anxiety, which makes it difficult to think, let alone know what to say in response — which is why creating a short script can help you communicate assertively. “If someone says they were ‘just kidding,’ but you’re not laughing, the greatest retort is, ‘Kidding means both people are having a good time.’ You won’t do it again now that you know I’m not.’ Because they’ve been called out on their actions, most bullies will stop right there.”
- Strategize with compassion
Even if you can’t completely remove a bully from your life, use “detached contact” to protect yourself. “Simply share less with them at the next get-together by presenting vague highlights of your life to keep them at bay.” What about at work? “Workers who reach out to colleagues three times a day — for example, by sending supportive emails — had considerably better rates of peer acceptance,” says bullying specialist Nancy Willard. Bullies are often peer-pressured into stopping when the workplace is on their side.
- Helping Others
Ask a thoughtful question. When you notice someone being bullied, instead of jumping to their defence, which may embarrass them, Thomas suggests simply telling them what you’ve seen. “I saw that, and it made me feel uneasy — what did you think?” you might remark. Hearing it is frequently a relief since it allows individuals to feel seen. If they dismiss it? “If you ever want to talk, just let me know,” you say. “The next time it happens,” Thomas says, “they could see the situation differently and call out.”
- Encourage the objective
A common blunder made by well-intentioned people? “They band together to attack the aggressor,” Goldman explains, “particularly when it comes to cyberbullying.” “Friends of the victim may fill the aggressor’s Instagram account with messages, but this simply perpetuates the unkindness.” Supporting the target by sending her a slew of kind texts is a far more effective strategy. It’s a positive message that bullying is never acceptable.”
- Make connections stronger
According to Willard, research suggests that having only one supportive buddy reduces the emotional damage caused by bullying. To strengthen the bonds between loved ones. Invite them to activities such as your book club or church organisation. Similarly, if a youngster in your life is having difficulty, encourage her to participate in extracurricular activities that she enjoys.
Bullies almost always end up in trouble. If they continue to be cruel and unpleasant, they may find themselves with only a few friends – usually, other youngsters who are just like them. The authority they sought vanishes quickly. Others move on, leaving bullies in their wake.
Don’t express your emotions when bullied. Prepare in advance. How do you keep yourself from being angry or expressing your displeasure? Try distracting yourself from keeping your mind occupied until you are out of the scenario and somewhere secure where you may express your feelings.
Inform a responsible adult. It is critical to inform an adult or authority figure if you are being bullied. Find someone you can confide in and tell them about your situation. Bullies will often quit when they understand you have support because they are terrified of being dealt with. This is not about snitching on someone who has done something little; bullying is wrong, and it helps if everyone involved knows it.
However, no one should have to put up with bullying. If a bully is bothering you or someone you know, talk to someone you can trust. Bullying makes people uncomfortable, and everyone has the right to feel safe. Tell someone and keep telling until something happens.
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