HOW TO MOVE ON FROM A PAINFUL HEARTBREAK

 

One of the most painful transitions in a person’s life is ending a relationship. While we all progress forward in our own unique ways and at our own paces, one thing remains essentially universal: we will all confront this difficulty at some point in our lives. The good news is that people can move on, even if it takes time.

And when they do, they leave behind teachings, and real, practical ways to recover based on personal experience. Because in the end, we all heal. Even after a heartbreak, it is possible to live a happy life. Even if it seems impossible to restore a shattered heart at times, the feeling won’t endure forever. Allowing yourself time to heal is recommended. Stated below are a few easy techniques that can assist you in this process:

  • INVOLVE YOURSELF WITH OPTIMISTIC PEOPLE

Different thoughts come to mind after a breakup with a former significant other. It could be as extreme as suicide thoughts or relying on drugs or any other negative vice as solace, depending on how grieved you are. None of the aforementioned, however, is a viable answer to your problem.

What you need to do is surround yourself with people who are positive and who can bring out the best in you. Maintaining a good attitude in the face of adversity might help you enhance your mood and state of mind.

  • CONSIDER YOUR LIFE TO BE A JOURNEY

It’s vital to remember that everyone who’s doing well now had a time when they didn’t think they’d ever be fine. A split may feel like the end of the world right now, but in years to come, a current problem will seem like a distant memory. The more we can understand our lives as fluid rather than fixed, the more we can put our experiences into context. Our story does not end with the conclusion of a relationship. No one else can claim our story or identity, whether we’re with someone or alone. We may feel as if we have left a piece of ourselves behind when we leave a relationship, unsure of how to carry on without the other person, but the truth is that we are still entire, evolving, and growing all the time.

  • BAN YOURSELF FROM SOCIAL MEDIA FOR A WHILE

It’s not a bad idea to take a break from social media during a heartbreak. Many relationships have failed as a result of social media; if your love interest has met someone else, you may want to avoid further heartbreak by resisting the impulse to stalk his or her social media profiles.

  • REALISTICALLY EVALUATE THE LOST RELATIONSHIP

Although there is usually a genuine sense of loss when a relationship ends, we also tend to look back on our relationships with a zoom lens on the good and blinders on the bad. Refrain from idealizing the relationship, as this is a common mistake. It’s common to just remember and concentrate on the positive elements of a relationship.

This makes accepting the truth that it’s over even more difficult, and it’s the equivalent of ‘denial’ in the stages of grieving.” Remembering the problems and issues in the relationship, as well as the genuine reasons we are no longer together, can make us feel more resilient and determined to go on.

  • CONVERT YOUR ANGER INTO BENEFICIAL WORKOUT SESSIONS

A healthy body can help you have a healthy mind. Exercising not only keeps you fit but also helps you spend less time thinking about your pain. Finally, take some time to contemplate and invest in yourself; you are deserving of it.

  • Recognize the discomfort.

Cry. Surround yourself with individuals you can trust to help you get through this trying time. Make time for the things you enjoy. You’ll never forget what happened, so learn to deal. It’ll be much simpler to breathe again soon. Read motivational literature, get to work, socialize with friends, and pick up a hobby, to name a few things.

  • LET GO OF YOUR FANTASIES

It’s not just after we’ve broken up that we begin to idealize our partner or a relationship. Couples frequently form a fantasy bond, a false sense of connection that takes the place of actual bonding and genuine gestures of love and intimacy. Symptoms of a fantasy bond include relating as a unit, favoring the appearance of being a pair over the content of making touch, sliding into a routine, lacking independence, showing less affection, and adopting control and submission dynamics rather than equality dynamics.

As true love is replaced with a fantasy tie, the quality of the relationship often deteriorates. It’s even more difficult to move on when we’re in a fantasy bond and the relationship dies because we don’t just mourn the loss of the person, but also the loss of the fantasy. This imagination dynamic might also drive us to maintain an idealized view of the person we’ve lost. It’s often necessary to break the imaginary bond with a previous spouse in order to move on.

  • LEARN TO PRACTICE GENEROSITY

We can get lost in our own worlds and ideas while we are in pain.  Surprisingly, being generous has therapeutic properties. Volunteering may be a pleasant diversion and beneficial use of our time. Even modest gestures of charity performed throughout the day might assist us in moving forward. Smiling at the person who serves us coffee, striking up a friendly discussion with someone at work, taking the time to ask friends about their lives, assisting someone who is lost on a street corner – these are all examples of small acts of kindness.

CONCLUSION

Rather than looking back on previous relationships with regret, try to be glad that you had the opportunity to have them and understand that they provided you with something you needed; you may realize it now or later in life. Above all, keep in mind that you will get through the process.

To speak with any of our counsellors at Light House Counselling, call or whatsapp +2348060286476.

We provide 5 different types of Counseling ranging from Marriage and Family Counselling, Educational Counselling, Rehabilitation Counselling, Mental Health Counselling, and Substance Abuse Counselling.

We have professionals and we provide affordable services.

 

 

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